I Am An Unhappy Man

Hi all. This is maybe my first blog post in years. So bear with me if my way of writing a little bit rusty.
I am an ordinary man. I live by myself. I come from a middle class family of 5 children. Actually my blood sibling is only 2. The rest is a step sister, and 1 comes from same father. My mom passed away when I was 8 from a breast cancer. My father remarried 2 years later (I think.)

Hi all. This is maybe my first blog post in years. So bear with me if my way of writing a little bit rusty.

I am an ordinary man. I live by myself. I come from a middle class family of 5 children. Actually my blood sibling is only 2. The rest is a step sister, and 1 comes from same father. My mom passed away when I was 8 from a breast cancer. My father remarried 2 years later (I think.)

I will skip you with all the details of my life time, which has brought me to this point. I will try to be as general as I can, but without leaving out anything important enough to be written.

I came from a family that’s; compared to maybe your family; is considered dysfunctional family. I experienced things in the past that maybe been pushed down inside my subconsciousness, and makes me who I am today. Not that long time ago I’ve just realized that I am unhappy. Been aware of it since mid-college. Ever since then I was in endless relentless effort to make myself happy. I had my ups and downs. In the times where the people around me was happy, I wasn’t. I was considered late about appreciating things that makes people happy. I am an unhappy man.

Until one time my experience in Twitter, where at one particular conversation with a person I followed. I don’t know her personally. But when she tweets about being in a down-low, I replied with a consolation in under 140 characters, just out of randomness. Then she was cheered up and by doing that I was also happy (thank you Muse!) Then it strikes to me and give me inspiration what I want to do is to make people happier through what I do as a Web Developer (a Startup company, more on that later.) In the end it will make me happy. and we all happy together.

Along the way I’m trying to make other people happy, and also got mixed up about falling in love. Yes, I have a not-so-ideal family and planned hard to have one of my own, so I can create happiness environment in my own family. In effort to do that I got confused about consoling and make people happy, and wooing and dropping lines to people. That might build me some kind of reputation, which I can’t control, I can’t help it. I just want to make people happy, and myself happy. But in the same time I want to fall in love with my future wife, and create a happy family. Yes, I sometimes (many times!) pushed too hard to make people happy, even disregarding my reputation. Maybe my subconscious pushed me, I just want to be happy, by pushing it too hard. Maybe to some people it’s too close for comfort (annoying!) And for that, to whom it may concerned, I am sorry. I’m just a human being. Fame and celebrityhood is never my goal.

I just want to be happy.
I want to make other people happy (and myself,) grow my own happy family.

3 thoughts on “I Am An Unhappy Man”

  1. I’m happy that you realize it Far…so be optimist, and use all your experience at the past as the energy to find your own happy family.
    Open your eyes..open your heart and open your mind!
    Be a Happy Man Far.. Unhappy isn’t your middle name.

  2. Hello.
    You have always said, “I want to be happy ; I just want to be happy. ; and if I can make other people happy, I will be happy.”

    Look…
    Wake Up. You will never be happy, if your happiness is depends on the “external condition” (I.e. People).

    You said, “I am an Unhappy Man”.
    You make the statement…over and over…
    You let the feeling, that related to the past events controls you -the memory of your childhood – where you needed love, but your mother were not there- the feeling then put you again and again, to be in the state of “Unhappiness”.

    I understand that the “pain” you experienced in your childhood is still there…..
    Its like a wound that never heals…
    It will never, unless you make a decision, a statement of “I am a Happy Man”.

    First of all, one thing that you have to do is, you tell yourself, “Its over. I am no longer a child. The love that I longed for from my mother n father, are always there. They have always loved me in their own way, not in the way that I wanted them to..”

    Try, and look at how you feel afterwards…

    Then, after you are done, if I may suggest….
    You pray and be Thankful for your life.
    First of all, be thankful for your health, then for your brain (you are highly intelligence, I assumed !), then to all the opportunities that have came into your life, all the friends – family – clients, everything that you have. Just simple, Be Thankful…
    Remember the warm Sun, the Rain, the gentle wind, all the birds that always sing, the beautiful flowers, etc. Everything in Nature that surround you…its free ! The air the you breath ! Its free…
    Focus on all these things… You can enjoy these for free, and you can do whatever you want, you were born to do something.. You have a dream, you have a talent, use it. Be You. Be Unique. Be a Happy -Unique- Man ! Give the world the Joy, of having you around… Create something… Do something…

    So again :
    You decide, whether you want to be happy or unhappy.

    You always have the Free Will, to choose whatever you want, and as you should have known, every choice comes with a consequence.

    You CAN be a Happy Man, if you choose to be one. You turn your focus on the good things that Life has been given you all these time.

    OR…
    You CAN be an Unhappy Man, if you choose to focus on the thing (Love) that you craved on but you never received…

    Be Wise. Be Thankful & Grateful for your Life.

    I know it is not an easy “task” – but you have to practice. Every morning you wake up, first thing first, in your morning prayer say “Thank You for my Life. For my health, and for everything.”
    And send a prayer to everyone that you care.

    Then do what you love, whether it is designing a web, write your thoughts and feelings or lyrics / melody (if you have a musical talent), make some sketches of your dream house, do whatever give you joy ! Cheers !

    Last but not least…..
    You are in “search” of your future wife…
    My suggestion… First of all, Heal yourself first…and Love yourself… 🙂
    The woman that you are looking for, if you are looking for someone who you can “cheer her up” it is most likely are not a “happy” person !
    You haven’t met your future wife, because you are looking for a “Happy Woman”… She will not come near you, if you are an Unhappy Man…
    That’s why it took you sooooo long…you are looking something that will come only if You are a Happy MaN ! 🙂

    So…,
    You be a Happy Man first, then you will meet a Happy Woman, and together the two of you will be a happy couple !

    Lastly…
    I wrote what I wrote, because I am so familiar with what you wrote about your feelings.
    I lived with the same feelings for years, then I just finally dealed with it.
    Its a long journey, to understand how every feelings we experienced in our childhood can affect our Life.
    I tried so many things to understand why I have that feeling. UNHAPPY. I read psychology books since I was 12, then I read astrology, palmistry, numerology, and many others that I thought can help me understand why I am NOT happy.
    It took me 30 years to “solved” my problem!

    Anyway,
    Thank you for being honest and truthful with your feeling. I like what wrote, I feel like I have just found a friend…
    Do apologize if my words are “sharp”.
    But I want you to wake up from your “dream”…
    Its an illussion… You are Happy/Unhappy its a choice that you make, don’t fall into the trap of self-pity… 🙂

    Namaste,
    – Joy of the Sun –

    “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”– Thoreau

  3. A PS :
    I accidentally submitted 2 times. The first was not finished and edited but I had pushed “submit”.
    Shall you want to delete one of those 2, you may delete the previous comment.
    I just read again, and it seems my comment was too blant. I hope I don’t hurt you. You are a sensitive soul (and I have forgotten this when I wrote the comment!). My apology, but I want you to “wake up” and BE HAPPY.
    What I did is I just showed you another way that is possible -“my way”..!
    I tried YOUR WAY, trying to make other people happy is not the solution.. You will get hurt (more!)..especially when other misunderstood you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *